Acceptance
Finding a Way to Live with Loss
The concept of acceptance in grief is often misunderstood as the point where someone “gets over” their loss or moves on completely.
However, true acceptance is not about forgetting or letting go of the love and memories of a lost loved one. Instead, it is about coming to terms with the reality of the loss and learning how to live with it, integrating it into your life in a way that allows you to move forward while still honouring what you have lost.
Acceptance doesn’t mean that the pain goes away completely, nor does it mean that grief is over.
It’s an ongoing process, where individuals learn to adapt to their new reality, acknowledging that while their lives have changed forever, they can still find meaning, joy, and purpose moving forward. This stage represents a shift in perspective—no longer focused on what could have been, but on finding a way to live with what is.
Grief is Not Linear
Grief doesn’t follow a clear, linear path. Don’t place pressure on yourself to move on, expect acceptance as it’s traditionally framed.
It’s important to note that the experience of acceptance is highly individual.
Criticisms of the Stage-Based Model
The stage-based model of grief, which includes acceptance as one of its key components, has faced criticism for oversimplifying the grieving process. While the idea of acceptance suggests that people eventually reach a point of peace with their loss, grief is much more fluid and non-linear.
People may feel acceptance, but this doesn’t mean the emotions or memories associated with the loss vanish. Grief is not about moving past the pain, but rather learning how to live with it in a way that doesn’t overwhelm your life.
Acceptance does not imply that the sadness, anger, or other emotions experienced during grief disappear. These feelings may still arise, but they become more integrated into one’s life rather than taking center stage. The process is less about a final destination and more about gradual emotional adjustment.
“Acceptance is not about liking a situation. It is about acknowledging all that has been lost and learning to live with that loss”. – Elisabeth Kübler-Ross
How to Navigate the Acceptance of Loss
If you find yourself in the depression stage of grief, it’s important to allow yourself to feel the sadness without guilt or shame. Here are a few tips for navigating this difficult phase:
- Allow Yourself to Reflect and Honour Your Loss
Acceptance doesn’t mean forgetting. It’s important to continue to honour your loved one and reflect on the positive memories and experiences you shared. This can be through rituals, sharing stories, or simply keeping them in your heart. - Embrace Your New Reality
Living with loss means acknowledging that your life has changed. This doesn’t mean erasing the past or trying to forget, but rather, finding a new way to live that includes the loss while also allowing room for growth and joy. It’s about creating a new balance. - Give Yourself Permission to Move Forward
It can be difficult to feel like you’re “moving on,” especially if you’ve been taught that grief should follow a particular pattern. But moving forward doesn’t mean you’re leaving your loved one behind. It means you’re learning to live a new chapter of life with the loss as part of your journey, not the defining feature. - Seek Support If Needed
Sometimes, reaching a place of acceptance can feel overwhelming or isolating. Speaking with a counsellor or support group can help you navigate this period and provide you with tools to cope with ongoing grief. They can also help you explore what acceptance means for you personally. - Be Patient with Yourself
Be patient with yourself, understand that grief is a journey that unfolds at its own pace. There’s no set timeline, and it’s okay to take the time you need to adjust to this new reality. Treat yourself with kindness as you navigate this process.
Finding a Way Forward: Navigating Life After Loss
As you move through grief, the pain may become less intense, but it will likely remain a part of your emotional landscape. Ultimately, it may be more useful to focus on learning how to navigate your new reality with hope, rather than ‘acceptance’, in a way that feels meaningful and authentic. It’s a personal, ongoing journey that evolves over time, with room for growth and self-compassion.
Watch the video here to learn more about depression in grief.
Your Grief Journey Workbook
Grief is not a linear journey, and everyone experiences it differently. This workbook provides guidance and helpful tools for your journey.
📖 73 pages, 20 supportive activities & 8 audio meditations
🧠 Created by our Clinical Psychologists
✍️ A blend of reflection, practical exercises & coping strategies
💛 Designed for those grieving or supporting others
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Your Grief Journey Workbook£15.00
Our approach to the five stages of grief
Watch the video here to learn more about our approach to grief and how we support those navigating loss.
Read more about the ‘Stages of Grief’ and other ways of looking at loss
Our Stages of Grief page explores the Kübler-Ross model, its origins, and its impact on how we understand loss. It also examines other stage-based grief models, offering a broader perspective on the many ways grief can be experienced.
🌱 Grow with our courses
Explore our courses – including Mental Health: Supporting Ourselves and the Grief Journey Workbook – on our dedicated Grief & Mental Health Training page.
Acceptance in grief means recognising the reality of the loss and finding ways to live with it. It doesn’t mean forgetting, being “over it,” or feeling fine. Acceptance looks like integrating the loss into your life, remembering your loved one with less overwhelm, and making space for both sadness and new moments of meaning.
Acceptance is often described as the final stage of the Five Stages of Grief, but grief doesn’t follow a strict ending. Many people experience acceptance alongside continued moments of sadness, longing, or reflection. Rather than a finish line, acceptance is an ongoing process of adjusting to life after loss and carrying your loved one forward in new ways.
Signs of acceptance may include being able to talk about your loved one with less emotional overwhelm, making future plans, returning to routines, or feeling occasional moments of peace. Acceptance often shows up as a softening of grief rather than the absence of it – allowing sadness and connection to coexist.
Yes. Moments of happiness can appear during acceptance, and they don’t mean you’ve stopped loving or missing the person who died. Finding joy again is a natural part of grief and doesn’t diminish the significance of your loss. Grief and happiness can coexist, allowing you to carry your loved one while still experiencing life.
An example of acceptance might be talking about your loved one with warmth, keeping a meaningful tradition, or starting to make decisions about the future with more clarity. Acceptance often looks like acknowledging the loss, carrying the person’s memory forward, and finding a way to live with both sadness and love.