🦋 Resilience Model of Grief – Overview
Psychologist George Bonanno introduced the Resilience Model of Grief (2004) to challenge the idea that everyone must pass through predictable “stages” of grief. In contrast to stage-based Grief models, his research showed that many people display natural resilience – the ability to adapt and find stability even after profound loss.
This model doesn’t suggest that grief is easy or that resilient people don’t feel pain. Instead, it recognises that humans have built-in coping mechanisms – support networks, humour, purpose, and flexibility – that help them recover in their own way and time.
His research showed that resilience is actually the most common outcome after loss – which means that adapting, laughing or functioning is not denial, but a normal human response.
🙌 How It Helps
The Resilience Model of Grief offers hope and normalises different grieving styles. It helps you see that resilience isn’t about “bouncing back,” but about continuing to live, love, and function even with sadness present.
🤍 May Be Helpful If…
- You worry that you’re “not grieving right” because you’re coping better than expected.
- You want reassurance that it’s okay to laugh, work, or feel okay sometimes.
- You’re interested in understanding strength through grief, not in spite of it.
- You’re surprised by moments of steadiness or strength in yourself.
- You worry your grief reactions aren’t “intense enough”.
📌 Tips for Using This Model
- Notice small signs of your own strength and coping – these are resilience in action.
- Stay connected to people and routines that anchor you.
- Remember: resilience includes vulnerability; expressing pain is part of processing your loss.
📖 Further Reading
Remember: these models are simply ways of understanding grief. You are the expert in your own experience, and you never need to fit yourself into any single model.
Take what’s helpful and leave the rest.
Grief Models: Online Course
Psychological models offer structure for understanding the many emotions and changes that grief brings. They help professionals – and anyone supporting someone who is grieving make sense of the experience and respond with empathy, clarity, and confidence.
👥 See real case studies that bring theory to life
🕯️ Understand continuing bonds, meaning-making, tasks of mourning, and more
🛠️ Practical tools for real-world settings
📘 Worksheets to use in sessions