What Grief Has Taught Me About Kindness – By Sarah, our new Chairperson
In September 2025, I was honoured to be appointed Chair of the Board at The Loss Foundation.
I joined the charity at a time of both challenge and opportunity – and my decision to do so was shaped not only by my professional leadership experience, but by my lived experience of grief.
I have experienced multiple, profound losses across my life. My husband Jonathan died in a car crash aged 40 while we were living in Denver, Colorado. My beloved mother passed suddenly on Mother’s Day in 2020. And my darling eldest son Robert died about two and a half years ago at 23.
These experiences have fundamentally shaped how I see the world, how I lead, and how I understand what people need when grief enters their lives. As Chair, I bring both strategic clarity and humanity to the role.
What follows are some of the lessons grief has taught me – lessons that sit at the very heart of why The Loss Foundation exists.
Grief is universal – but support is not
One of the things I speak about most openly is how little we are taught about grief, despite it being one of the few experiences every human being will face.
Loss is inevitable. Yet most people reach it without tools, language, or permission to talk about what they are going through. Support often falls away quickly, leaving people isolated at the very moment they need connection the most. This gap – between the certainty of loss and the scarcity of meaningful support – was one of the key reasons I was drawn to The Loss Foundation.
Acknowledgement matters more than fixing
Through my own grief, and through hearing the stories of bereaved people via The Loss Foundation’s work, I’ve learned that people rarely need solutions.
What they need is acknowledgement.
To be seen.
To have their loss recognised.
To know that their grief makes sense.
When grief goes unacknowledged, it can feel deeply disconnecting – as though the world has moved on while your inner life stands still. Simply naming the loss, staying present, and allowing space for emotion can make an enormous difference.
Saying their name is a powerful act
One of the simplest – and most generous – things someone can do for a grieving person is to say the name of the person who has died.
Our loved ones are not mentioned less because they matter less, but because others are afraid of “upsetting” us. In reality, being invited to speak their name, to share who they were, and to remember them openly can feel like a gift.
Tears, when they come, are not a failure of the conversation. They are part of love.
Kindness leaves a lasting mark
Amid profound loss, I have also witnessed the very best of people.
Small acts – a letter, a phone call, a meal left at the door, someone who shows up consistently – are never forgotten. Grief has a long memory, and kindness leaves an imprint that can last a lifetime.
You do not need perfect words. Doing something, rather than nothing, matters.
You don’t have to do grief alone
Perhaps the most important lesson I carry is this: grief does not have to be carried in isolation.
Connection – with others who understand, who make room for loss without judgement – can transform how grief is lived with over time. This belief sits at the core of The Loss Foundation’s work: creating spaces where people bereaved by cancer can connect, be heard, and feel less alone.
As Chair, I am committed to ensuring that this ethos remains central as the charity continues to grow.
Help shape the future of The Loss Foundation
As we look ahead, we’re inviting people who believe in this work to become part of our Founding 500 – a group of early, committed supporters helping to secure The Loss Foundation’s future.
By joining the Founding 500 with a small regular gift, you help ensure that compassionate, cancer-specific bereavement support remains available to those who need it most – not just today, but for years to come.
👉 Join the Founding 500 and help make sure no one has to face grief alone