At The Loss Foundation, we know that grief can feel isolating.
Our Connect service was created to bring together people who have faced similar losses, so they can share, listen, and support each other in a way only someone who has “been there” can.
In this heartfelt piece, Dorothy and Judy share how being matched through Connect has helped them find comfort, understanding, and even joy in each other’s company.
Finding Connection in Shared Loss
“We signed up for The Loss Foundation’s Connect service having both lost a grown up child to cancer. Any loss brings profound symptoms of grief that impact individuals in different ways but the loss of a grown up son or daughter brings very complex emotions: the child we gave birth to living their own life, our maternal role more distant than when they were children but a huge hole created in our lives. Friends and family bring comfort and support but unless someone has experienced this type of loss as a mother, it can be hard to find a true mutual understanding.
We were matched through Connect in late 2023. Initial feelings were a little bit scary: on paper this person seems to be going through something similar but what will they be like? What will they be looking for from me? Will sharing make me feel worse?
We decided to begin with a phone call and whilst we were both apprehensive we also felt hopeful. That first call went well, we both came away feeling that we had connected through our maternal grief but also as individuals in our own right. Since that first call we have spoken on the phone on a regular basis, usually every fortnight unless other things are going on. Chatting about things that are happening for us is lovely and in particular it helps to be able to share feelings when significant dates come around that remind us of our loss and sadness.
We also get together on a regular basis. London is a convenient hub for us both so a couple of times a year we get together, do something touristy and have lunch. We met a couple of weeks ago and talked about our children, our families, holidays as well as the ongoing challenges of a loss that is never any less painful. We don’t dwell on our grief but we know that if either of us needs to we can talk about it with understanding and compassion.
For anyone feeling isolated in grief the Connect service provides an opportunity to find support through a new friend and we would recommend giving it a go. It might feel a little bit daunting but you can trust the Loss Foundation to match carefully and support your needs.
Dorothy and Judy
👉 Learn more about our Connect service
Photo by Tyler Lastovich on Unsplash
🧠 Understand the ‘Stages’ of Grief
The idea of “stages” is one of the most widely recognised ways people make sense of grief – but it’s often misunderstood.
Our Stages of Grief page explains where the model came from, what the stages really mean, and how they can help (without implying grief follows a neat, linear path).
Explore the page to learn:
📘 What the Five Stages really are (and aren’t)
🧭 Why grief doesn’t follow a straight line
🌊 How emotions can come in waves
🧩 How different grief models may help you