What does it feel like to be coping with loss, or indeed, what does it feels like to be not coping with it? We all have expectations of ourselves in terms of how we deal with certain things, but remember that grief can pull the rug from under you in a way that prevents you from turning to your usual coping strategies.
For some, coping is about going into work and putting on a brave face. For others, it may just be getting out of bed each day. If you are feeling overwhelmed try not to assume that you aren’t coping. It’s normal to feel as though things are out of our control after we go through the trauma of losing someone. It can feel overwhelming. Why wouldn’t it?
Try not to expect too much of yourself if you are struggling, because judging ourselves harshly will only make things harder.
Part of the process may be to let go of trying to “cope” and think about what it is that you might need in that moment, to make things even just a little bit better. Sharing our emotions and our experiences with people who understand what we are going through can be helpful because they help us to realise that we are coping in our own way.
There is no right or wrong way to deal with how you feel, but it can be helpful to just take things one step at a time, be that in days, hours or even minutes. Remember that you are doing the best you can.
Whether you feel like you are coping or not coping, you are welcome to join us for support. You can find information on our upcoming support events on our calendar.
Dr Francine Bear