Many of the people we support at The Loss Foundation express frustration at a lack of receiving useful information when they become bereaved; nobody tells you that you may lose your concentration, your confidence, your appetite, that you may become more irritable, that you may be disappointed by those you relied on… And so much more…
Without knowing that these things can happen in bereavement, it can be frightening to feel like you’ve fallen into an unpredictable abyss, with little information on what lies ahead.
Just knowing that certain experiences can be part and parcel of bereavement, and that they are ‘normal’, may help you be kind to yourself when these things happen, rather than judge yourself for finding life difficult.
This stream of thought presents a question; looking back on all you have learned from your experience of being bereaved, what advice would you give to others who are newly bereaved?
This question always creates a lot of food for thought and discussion at our support groups. The most common responses are:
– Speak more about feelings earlier on rather than bottling them up.
– Forgive people for not knowing what to say.
– Be kinder to yourself in general.
It may be worth thinking about that question, – perhaps there is some advice you can give yourself right now. It is always easier to give advice to others than listen to it ourselves. However, if you were to treat yourself like you would your dearest friend, would that look different to what you are doing? Is there something you could do to look after yourself with a little more kindness… starting now?
However you are feeling and however you may or may not struggle to be kind to yourself, remember that we are here for you. We will be that kind voice when you are struggling to hear it yourself. You can find information on our upcoming support events on our calendar.
With best wishes,
The Loss Foundation