Here at The Loss Foundation, we have been running grief support events since 2011. Over the years, we’ve learned that two of the most common challenges people face are, firstly, finding the right support, and secondly, gathering the strength to actually turn up to it.
When my dad died from cancer, I felt completely lost. I couldn’t find any support that truly resonated with me, and that absence ultimately inspired me to create The Loss Foundation. But I must admit, even when I eventually booked in to see a counsellor, I found it so hard to attend the sessions. I just wasn’t ready, and truthfully, the counsellor wasn’t the right fit for me at the time.
Many of our beneficiaries share that they’ve come across one of our events and thought it might help, but it often takes months, or even years, for them to find the courage to prioritise themselves and take that first step, whether for an in-person event or an online session. This is something we hear time and time again from the people we support.
For support to be truly helpful, it needs to come at the right time and feel like the right fit. Readiness doesn’t follow a set timeline, and it looks different for everyone. There’s no right or wrong way to approach it, only what works for you.
That said, we also hear, far more often, about how grateful people are that they finally took that step. Once they’ve attended, many tell us how transformative it is to connect with others who truly understand their grief. Hearing this never fails to remind us why we put so much thought and care into what we do.
Behind the scenes, our team works tirelessly to ensure that every event we run is welcoming, supportive, and respectful. We provide continuous training to our facilitators so that every individual who walks through our doors (or logs into our online sessions) feels seen, understood, and supported.
If you’ve experienced the loss of a loved one and feel unsure about seeking support, please know this: you’re not alone, and it’s perfectly normal to feel that way. Some people reach out for support just weeks after their loss, while others come to us 20 years later. There’s no timeline, and there’s absolutely no judgement from us about when you decide to take that step.
One of our beneficiaries, Thelma, kindly shared her story of loss and her journey to seeking support…
I joined The Loss Foundation (TLF) on the 4th January 2020, about 9 weeks after my husband had died from cancer. I had been given a number of resources to tap into shortly after his death and I absentmindedly joined TLF, ticking it off my to-do list but doing little else.
I was in the early stages of grief, still trying to make sense of what had happened. My otherwise fit and healthy husband had been diagnosed with a rare cancer that was so late stage he had died a mere 3 weeks later. My two sons (3 and 6 at the time) were still reeling from shock.
I kept myself busy trying to live a life in the wake of his death. Trying to mother two boys who had lost their Father. Trying to carry on in some way. And I thought I was fine after a while. So although I noted the various emails that entered my inbox from the TLF over the years I paid them little mind. It was not for me – no time and besides I was doing ok now. Or so I thought.
This year, as I approached the 5 year anniversary of my husband’s death I found myself struggling. On impulse, having previously not engaged with any of the events organised by TLF, I decided to register for an all day group session for those who had lost a partner to cancer. I didn’t know what to expect and I wondered whether I would even have the courage to actually go. But I did. And I am glad I did so.
It was a truly transformative experience to be in the presence of those who had gone through exactly what I had gone through. And who were able to listen with empathy and kindness without any sign of compassion fatigue. It felt good. Although by that stage I had lost my husband half a decade ago and time wise was further along in my grief journey than the others that had attended – it did not diminish my enjoyment of the day. I still felt welcomed as one of the group. If anything, it was proof that grief is a journey that can go on for as long as it takes for the individual – there is no right or wrong way to navigate this path.
I have since completed the final draft of a memoir I have written chronicling my experience with grief. It is due for publication next year. Before submitting to the publishers a few weeks ago, I made one last amendment: a special mention to TLF for giving me hope and making me feel – well – normal. Thank you.
We are so grateful to Thelma for opening up about her experience, and we feel privileged to have been part of her healing process.
If you’re reading this and wondering if it’s time to seek support, maybe the kindest thing you could do for yourself today is to take that first step. Whether it’s reaching out, attending an event, or even just exploring the idea, it’s a sign of strength, not weakness, to put yourself first.
Whenever you feel ready to turn up, know that we’ll be here for you.
With love,
Erin
Founder, The Loss Foundation
P.S. Interested in learning more about our day retreats, like the one Thelma attended? Sign up for our monthly newsletter here to stay informed about upcoming events, grief resources, and support advice.
Photo by Jan Tinneberg on Unsplash
📢 Our Online Training is Now Live
Explore all of our courses, including How to Lead a Grief Support Group, on our grief and mental health training page.
-
Product on sale
Original price was: $57.00.$41.00Current price is: $41.00.
-
Product on sale
Original price was: $57.00.$41.00Current price is: $41.00.