Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) offers a flexible, evidence-informed approach to grief that recognises painful emotions are not problems to be solved. Rather than trying to eliminate grief, ACT helps people develop the psychological flexibility to make room for painful thoughts and feelings while continuing to move towards a meaningful, values-led life.
In grief work, ACT is particularly helpful when clients become caught in struggling against grief itself, for example, trying not to think about the person who died, waiting to feel “better” before living again, or becoming disconnected from what matters most.
ACT is not about accepting the death as “okay.” It is about accepting the reality that grief is now part of life, while helping people continue to live in ways that reflect what matters most to them.
Why ACT Can Be Helpful in Grief
ACT may be particularly helpful when grief is accompanied by –
- Attempts to suppress or avoid grief-related thoughts and feelings
- Feeling stuck while waiting for grief to disappear before re-engaging with life
- Loss of meaning, identity or direction after the death
- Persistent rumination or struggle with “why”
- Difficulty holding both grief and hope at the same time
- Feeling disconnected from personal values following bereavement
ACT supports clients in developing psychological flexibility so they can carry grief without becoming overwhelmed by it.
What ACT helps therapists formulate
Experiential Avoidance
Helping clients notice where the struggle against painful thoughts or emotions may be increasing suffering.
Cognitive Fusion
Becoming caught in grief-related thoughts such as, “I can’t cope”, “Life has no meaning now” or “Moving forward means leaving them behind.”
Values
Exploring what continues to matter even in the presence of grief.
Psychological Flexibility
Supporting clients to make room for grief while reconnecting with meaningful action.
Examples of how ACT may support Grief Work
Therapists may explore –
- Helping clients make space for painful grief emotions rather than fighting them.
- Working with thoughts such as “I shouldn’t still feel like this.”
- Exploring what gives life meaning after loss.
- Supporting continuing bonds while reconnecting with valued living.
- Helping clients take small committed actions despite ongoing grief.
- Using mindfulness and acceptance to reduce struggle with internal experiences.
Strengths and Limitations
ACT is particularly helpful when clients become caught in struggling with grief itself rather than responding to the loss. It supports people to make room for grief while reconnecting with a meaningful life, rather than waiting for grief to disappear before living again.
However, acceptance should never be confused with resignation or giving up. The goal is not to accept the death as “okay”, but to develop flexibility in responding to the realities of grief.
ACT encourages clients to recognise that grief and meaningful living can coexist.
Compassion Focussed Therapy (CFT)
Help clients reduce self-criticism and build warmth, care, and self-compassion through grief.
✔ Reducing shame and self-criticism
✔ Working with persistent guilt
✔ Developing emotional safeness
✔ Building a compassionate inner voice
✔ Responding to grief with warmth rather than judgement
✔ Supporting emotional regulation alongside grief
Acceptance + Commitment Therapy (ACT)
Help clients make space for grief while staying connected to what matters most in their lives.
✔ Helping clients make room for grief
✔ Working with the struggle against painful emotions
✔ Reconnecting with meaning and purpose
✔ Supporting values-led living after loss
✔ Holding grief and hope alongside one another
✔ Building psychological flexibility
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)
Help clients understand and gently work with the connection between thoughts, feelings, and behaviours in grief.
✔ Exploring persistent guilt and responsibility
✔ Working with avoidance that maintains distress
✔ Supporting emotional regulation alongside grief
✔ Helping clients re-engage with valued living
✔ Integrating trauma-informed CBT where appropriate
