This article accompanies a webinar featuring Dr Erin Hope Thompson MBE, Founder of The Loss Foundation, alongside leaders from Hospice UK, KPMG, Emerald Publishing and The Lord Mayor’s Appeal. You can watch the full webinar below.
- Why Grief Matters at Work
- What Grief Really Looks Like at Work
- Why There Is No One-Size-Fits-All Approach to Grief
- Compassionate Bereavement Leave: What Employees Need
- Supporting Employees Returning to Work After Bereavement
- How to Help Managers Support Grieving Employees
- Creating a Grief-Informed Workplace Culture
- What We Can Learn From Workplace Grief Cafés
- Supporting Employees Who Aren’t Ready to Talk
- Small Changes That Make a Big Difference
- Why Supporting Grieving Employees Benefits Everyone
- How The Loss Foundation Can Help
Grief Doesn’t Stay at Home When We Go to Work
At some point, most of us will experience a significant loss while employed.
We may lose a parent, partner, sibling, friend, colleague, or child. We may also experience other forms of grief, including miscarriage, fertility loss, caring responsibilities, serious illness, or the end of an important relationship.
Yet despite grief being a universal human experience, many workplaces still struggle to know how to respond when an employee is grieving.
During a recent webinar hosted by The Lord Mayor’s Appeal, experts in psychology, workplace wellbeing, HR and bereavement support came together to discuss what good grief support looks like at work. One message emerged repeatedly:
Grief is not a workplace issue that affects a small number of people. It is a people issue that will affect every workplace.
The question is not whether grief will impact your organisation, but whether your organisation is prepared to respond when it does.
Why Grief Support Matters More Than Ever
Research shared during the webinar highlighted the growing importance employees place on workplace bereavement support.
A recent survey found that 57% of employees would consider leaving their job if they did not receive adequate support following a bereavement. Younger employees placed even greater importance on this, with 77% of younger workers saying they would consider leaving if they felt unsupported.
At the same time, fewer than one in five managers report feeling very confident supporting someone who is grieving.
This creates a significant gap between what employees need and what many organisations currently provide.
For employers, this is not simply a wellbeing issue. Poor bereavement support can contribute to:
- Increased absenteeism
- Presenteeism and reduced productivity
- Higher staff turnover
- Reduced engagement
- Loss of trust in leadership
- Increased stress and burnout among colleagues
Most importantly, it can leave people feeling abandoned at one of the most difficult times in their lives.
What Grief Really Looks Like at Work
When people think about grief, they often think about sadness.
But grief is far more complex than that.
As Dr Erin Hope Thompson explained during the webinar, grief can affect every aspect of a person’s life. Someone who was previously confident, productive and highly organised may suddenly find themselves struggling to concentrate, remember information, make decisions or complete everyday tasks.
People may experience:
- Anxiety
- Low mood
- Exhaustion
- Irritability
- Difficulty concentrating
- Reduced confidence
- Changes in motivation
- Feelings of isolation
- Physical symptoms such as disrupted sleep or illness
For many people, grief also changes their sense of identity.
One panellist described becoming “the person I was before my mum died and the person I became afterwards.”
This is something organisations sometimes overlook. Grief is not simply an event someone experiences. It can fundamentally change how they see themselves and the world around them.
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There Is No One-Size-Fits-All Approach to Grief
One of the strongest themes throughout the discussion was the importance of recognising that grief is deeply individual.
Two employees may experience similar losses and require completely different forms of support.
One person may want to talk openly about their loved one.
Another may prefer privacy.
One person may find returning to work quickly helpful.
Another may need significant time away.
One person may appreciate regular check-ins.
Another may find them overwhelming.
This is why the most effective organisations avoid rigid assumptions and instead start with a simple question:
“What do you need from us right now?”
Rather than deciding what support should look like, effective organisations create space for employees to tell them what support would be most helpful.
Compassionate Bereavement Leave Is Only the Beginning
Bereavement leave is often where conversations about workplace grief begin.
Many organisations now offer three to five days of compassionate leave. While this is a positive start, many employees report that it is not enough.
Grief does not follow a timetable.
Funerals may take place weeks after a death. Administrative responsibilities can continue for months. Anniversaries, birthdays and significant dates may remain difficult long after someone has returned to work.
Some organisations are now moving towards more flexible approaches, including:
- Longer periods of bereavement leave
- Leave that can be taken over several months
- Flexible use of hours rather than fixed days
- Greater manager discretion
- Trust-based policies that focus on individual circumstances
Compassionate leave is important, but it is only one part of effective support.
The real challenge often begins when someone returns to work.
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The Return to Work Process Matters
One of the most striking points raised during the webinar was how few organisations have a structured return-to-work process following bereavement.
Many employees report receiving support immediately after a death, only to feel forgotten once they return.
Some described colleagues acting as though they had simply been on holiday.
Others felt pressure to return to their previous levels of productivity immediately.
Returning to work does not mean grief has ended.
In many cases, it is only just beginning to emerge.
Employers should consider:
- Holding a return-to-work conversation before an employee returns
- Discussing any temporary adjustments needed
- Agreeing how colleagues will be informed
- Scheduling follow-up check-ins
- Recognising that support may be needed months later
The most effective support plans acknowledge that grief is often a long-term experience.
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Why Managers Need More Support
Many managers want to support grieving employees well.
The problem is that many have never been taught how.
Managers often worry about:
- Saying the wrong thing
- Making someone upset
- Not knowing what questions to ask
- Appearing intrusive
- Handling emotional conversations
As a result, some avoid the conversation altogether.
Unfortunately, silence can sometimes feel more painful than awkwardness.
Most grieving employees are not expecting their manager to be a grief expert.
They are simply looking for kindness, acknowledgement and understanding.
Training can help managers:
- Understand common grief reactions
- Feel more confident having difficult conversations
- Learn supportive language
- Know when additional support may be needed
- Understand how grief may affect performance and wellbeing
Sometimes the difference between a positive and negative bereavement experience at work comes down to a single conversation.
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Creating a Culture Where Grief Can Be Acknowledged
Policies are important.
Training is important.
But culture matters too.
Throughout the webinar, panellists spoke about the importance of creating environments where grief can be acknowledged rather than hidden.
Many employees still feel uncomfortable talking about bereavement at work.
Some worry about burdening colleagues.
Others fear being treated differently.
Some simply don’t know how to begin the conversation.
Organisations can help by:
- Encouraging open conversations about grief
- Sharing stories and lived experiences
- Marking awareness events
- Providing accessible resources
- Training leaders to model compassionate communication
When grief becomes something people can talk about, it becomes easier for employees to seek support when they need it.
What We Can Learn From KPMG’s Grief Cafés
One of the most powerful examples shared during the webinar came from KPMG.
After losing her mother to pancreatic cancer, Analise Rogers-Khan found that speaking openly about her grief helped her process what had happened. As she shared her experience, she discovered many colleagues had experienced significant losses too.
This led her to establish workplace grief cafés.
The concept was simple.
No agenda.
No pressure.
No expectation to speak.
People could join on camera, off camera, muted, or simply listen.
The first session attracted 55 people.
Over time, colleagues began connecting, sharing experiences and supporting one another.
The grief cafés became a reminder that people are rarely as alone in their grief as they might initially feel.
Not every organisation will create grief cafés.
But every organisation can learn from the principle behind them:
People need spaces where grief is allowed to exist.
What If Someone Isn’t Ready to Talk?
A common question during the webinar was how to support people who do not want to discuss their grief.
The answer is simple:
Respect that choice.
Not everyone processes grief through conversation.
Some people need time.
Others may never wish to discuss their loss in a workplace setting.
Dr Erin Hope Thompson described support as “planting seeds.”
Support does not need to be used immediately to be valuable.
Providing resources, training, conversations and opportunities for connection means support is available when someone feels ready.
The goal is not to make people talk.
The goal is to ensure they know support exists if they choose to access it.
Small Changes Can Make a Big Difference
One of the most encouraging messages from the webinar was that supporting grieving employees does not necessarily require major organisational change.
Often, the most meaningful actions are relatively small.
These might include:
- A manager checking in before a difficult anniversary
- Flexible working arrangements
- A compassionate return-to-work conversation
- Clear bereavement guidance
- Practical support with workload
- Signposting to additional support
- Simply acknowledging the loss
Small acts of compassion are often remembered long after policies have been forgotten.
Supporting Grieving Employees Is Both Compassionate and Good Business
When organisations support grieving employees well, everyone benefits.
Employees feel valued.
Managers feel more confident.
Teams become stronger.
Retention improves.
Trust increases.
Most importantly, people are treated with humanity during some of the hardest moments of their lives.
As Dr Erin Hope Thompson noted during the webinar, most of us spend a significant portion of our lives at work. When someone experiences a bereavement, they do not leave their grief at the office door.
Workplaces that acknowledge this reality and respond with compassion are not simply creating better bereavement support.
They are creating better workplaces.
How The Loss Foundation Can Help
The Loss Foundation provides workplace bereavement training, grief resources and consultancy to help organisations create more compassionate and grief-informed workplaces.
Whether you’re developing a bereavement policy, training managers, supporting a grieving team, or looking to improve your workplace culture, we’re here to help.
Explore our Grief@Work resources or get in touch to learn more about how we can support your organisation.
Even more reading…
Bereavement leave for employers
A guide for UK employers on supporting bereaved employees with compassion.
Bereavement leave for employees
A guide to bereavement leave in the UK – including rights, workplace support and what to expect after loss.
Conversations with grieving colleagues
Learn what to say, what to avoid and how to offer compassionate support at work.
Supporting grieving colleagues
Practical guidance on supporting grieving coworkers with care and sensitivity.
