When you’re grieving, summer can feel surprisingly difficult.
The world seems to shift into holiday mode. Gardens fill with laughter. Social media fills with sunshine, family gatherings and days out. There can be an unspoken expectation that longer, brighter days should lift your mood.
But grief doesn’t work with the seasons.
You may be missing the person who should be sitting beside you in the garden, planning a holiday, or simply enjoying an ordinary summer evening with you.
If this season feels heavier than you expected, you’re not alone.
Rather than putting pressure on yourself to “make the most of summer”, perhaps this is the season to make the most of small moments instead.
Open a window
Fresh air won’t take your grief away.
But sometimes opening a window, hearing the birds outside or feeling a warm breeze can help you feel just a little more connected to the world around you.
Small changes are still changes.
Step outside for five minutes
You don’t need to plan a long walk.
If all you manage is standing in your garden, walking to the end of the street or sitting on a nearby bench, that’s enough.
The goal isn’t exercise, although gentle movement can be helpful when you’re grieving.
It’s simply giving yourself permission to pause, breathe and spend a few quiet moments outside.
Let yourself enjoy the sunshine
Many people feel guilty when they catch themselves enjoying a sunny day.
But moments of peace don’t erase the love you have for the person who died.
Joy and grief can exist together.
You don’t have to choose between them.
Say no without feeling guilty
Summer often brings invitations, celebrations and social events.
It’s okay to say yes.
It’s okay to say no.
You don’t have to explain yourself.
Protecting your energy is part of caring for yourself.
Find one small comfort
Perhaps it’s an ice cream.
A cup of tea outside.
Listening to birdsong.
Reading a chapter of a book.
Watering the plants.
There is no “right” way to spend a summer’s day when you’re grieving.
Small comforts still matter.
Take them with you
Many people worry they’ll forget the person they love if life begins to feel lighter.
You won’t.
Perhaps take a photograph where they would have smiled.
Cook their favourite summer meal.
Visit a place they loved.
Tell someone a story about them.
Love doesn’t disappear because life carries on.
Remember…
You don’t have to have a “good summer.”
You don’t have to make memories because everyone else seems to be.
You don’t have to fill every sunny day with plans.
If all you do today is open a window, take a short walk or sit in the sunshine for a few minutes, that is enough.
Grief doesn’t disappear because summer arrives.
But perhaps, alongside your grief, there can still be moments of warmth, rest and gentleness.
And for today, that is enough.
