Grief is a deeply personal experience that changes over time. While some models of grief describe emotions such as shock, anger, sadness, and acceptance, many people also experience a need to understand what their loss means and how it has changed their life. This process is often referred to as meaning-making.
Meaning-making does not mean finding a reason for the loss or believing it happened for a particular purpose. Instead, it is about making sense of what has happened, integrating the loss into your life story, and finding ways to move forward while still honouring the person, relationship, or life you have lost.
What is meaning-making in grief?
Meaning-making is the process of exploring questions such as:
- How has this loss changed me?
- What does this person or relationship mean to me now?
- How do I carry this experience with me?
- What values, memories, or lessons do I want to hold onto?
For some people, meaning may come from memories, traditions, relationships, creativity, spirituality, helping others, or making changes that reflect what mattered to the person who died. For others, meaning may simply be found in accepting that life has changed and learning how to live alongside the loss.
Meaning-making and the stages of grief
The idea of meaning-making is often included in expanded versions of grief models, including some six-stage approaches. These models build on earlier theories, such as the five-stage model of grief, by recognising that grief is not only about moving through difficult emotions – it is also about adapting, rebuilding, and finding a way to continue.
As shown in the five-stage model of grief, people may experience emotions such as denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. However, grief does not always happen in a predictable order. Over time, many people find themselves exploring new questions about identity, purpose, relationships, and the future.
Is finding meaning the same as “moving on”?
No. Meaning-making is not about forgetting someone or leaving the past behind. Many bereaved people describe grief as a continuing connection – carrying memories, values, and love forward while adapting to life without the person they lost.
Finding meaning can happen alongside sadness. Someone may still miss the person deeply while also discovering new strengths, priorities, or ways of living.
Examples of meaning-making after loss
Meaning-making looks different for everyone. It might involve:
- Creating a memorial or ritual to honour someone
- Continuing a tradition that mattered to the person who died
- Supporting others who have experienced a similar loss
- Changing priorities or appreciating life differently
- Finding comfort in memories and shared experiences
- Using creative expression such as writing, art, or music
The non-linear nature of grief
Many modern approaches to grief recognise that there is no single “right” way to grieve. The five-stage model has inspired many expanded and simplified versions, including 4 Stages of Grief, 6 Stages of Grief, Seven Stages of Grief, 8 Stages of Grief, and more detailed frameworks such as the 9, 10 and 12 Stages of Grief. Each model offers a different way to describe the emotional shifts people may experience after a loss.
Ultimately, meaning-making is less about reaching a final stage and more about creating a way to live with the loss – remembering what has been lost while continuing to grow and adapt.
